g1immer's Pet Peeves in No Particular Order

Number 2 - Not Following Proper Bathroom Etiquette

No picture for this post as that would just be inappropriate (and taking a picture of a random stranger isn't?). So, I do not identify as a dude and therefore I use the ladies' or family bathrooms (there is only one at my work place which is annoying, but that's a topic for another day). This post will be my complaints about other people who identify themselves as 'women' or at least acknowledge that they want to use the women's bathroom. I will just call them "ladies", which I know is generalizing. Please don't take offense as anyone can use the women's bathroom!

"There were more paper towels behind the door again," one of the guys chuckled as they came back from the men's bathroom. The guys at my workplace are always laughing about the men's room bathroom etiquette, but I don't have many people to share my stories with. Where here you all come in! The worst the guys see in our building is people throwing mushed up, wet, used paper towels behind the door instead of using the trash can. PUH-LEASE. Time to shine!

First, ladies will storm through the door in their heels with so much force, that we constantly scare each other if two people are going for the door at the same time. One in the bathroom and one outside of it. I always make an awkward laugh and apologize, but many of the ladies in my building just continue on their way without a word (or even a smile)! Is it that hard to open the door slowly or with a little caution? This is a common issue with all doors mind you, but at least in the building they are all made of glass and see-through so you can see the other person coming. I guess I shouldn't complain too much or they will put glass doors to the ladies' bathroom...

Second, I feel like whenever I'm in a stall (I usually go for the very first one or the one farthest away), someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO ME. It's like...uh, hello? All the others are empty! Why do you need to go for that particular stall? Is it your favorite? I just don't get it. I've heard guys have this problem with the urinals which seems SO much worse, so maybe again, I shouldn't complain.

Ladies also like to just sit in the stalls and not use the bathroom. Don't ask me what they are doing in there - checking their phone? Eating? Peeling the paint off the door? Doing something inappropriate? Skipping work? It's probably the first or the last of those situations, but still. I've noticed some ladies being in there for a WHILE (because I was also checking my phone ha ha)! The worst are the ones who sit there in complete silence. One of these days I'm going to shout "are you dead in there?" and run out.

Another pet peeve of mine are the ladies who talk in the bathroom when they are multiple stalls away. It's so awkward for the person or people in between. It's like...I can hear your ENTIRE conversation about your daughter. I don't want to hear it. Don't make me listen to your petty conversations, please. Work talk is just the worst. I hear it enough at work. Can I just go back to peeing please?

Fourth is when you enter the stall at the same time as another lady. I can be a nervous pee-er, so sometimes I can't get it to flow until the other lady starts. But, what if she's the same way? It has happened before, but luckily this one isn't as common. Most ladies in my building are here to come and go and it's funny (and awkward that I notice this) but most ladies who plop down on the toliet have loud, violent and fast pees and they are OUTTA there!

Have you ever hopped in a stall and then heard someone get out and then just leave? No washing their hands, checking themselves in the mirror or anything. That's just gross. You touch your keyboard with those hands...you may even touch PEOPLE with those hands!

My next complaint is a little disgusting, so skip this part if you don't wanna be grossed out. Sometimes people have to fart and that is totally fine and acceptable to do in the bathroom. In your OWN home. Or when NO ONE ELSE is in the public bathroom with you. Can you imagine taking a big, stinky crap with someone right next to you? They are literally two feet from you with a thin wall separating you! I've heard many people poor and fart in that bathroom. And it's just disgusting. Most of the time, if I see someone go to the large handicapped stall at the end of the row, I get the HELL outta there.

Seventh, talking on your phone in the bathroom. Too be fair, this one doesn't occur that often. Occasionally, there will be a woman on the phone or talking with her ear piece, in the stall and washing her hands. The worst ones are the ones who don't LEAVE the bathroom when they are ready to go. Oh, that leads me to number eight!

Not leaving right after you are done in the bathroom. Wash your hands, check your makeup and GO. Re-applying your makeup or doing it in the morning is okay, but hurry it up. Pretend the room is on fire if someone else is in there. You don't want to make them uncomfortable. Sometimes, if I have a dislike for another person in a stall that did one of the above pet peeves of mine, I will linger in the bathroom for longer just to spite them. Sure, they have no idea it's me being evil, but then again, they will never know (unless you are someone reading this right now somehow).

On to number nine - not throwing materials away properly. A lot of ladies use those toilet seat covers made of paper and then flush them when they are done. Seems fine, right? Well, sometimes they don't flush all the way or people LEAVE them on the toliet seat. Gross! Also, ladies do not throw away their feminine products in the trash can sometimes. I saw one floating in a toilet right before clean-up hour (which is right around 2:30PM - a time where everyone finished digesting and needs to clean out their system - the story of how I hate the janitor in my building is another story for another time). The janitor even put up sad little paper signs that say "Do not flush feminine products!" because apparently so many ladies do it. I can't imagine having her job; she must have seen a lot of nasty crap clogged in the toilets to have to make signs for every stall!

Finally, (I'm sure I have more...maybe I will add to it in a comment if I think of more. You be sure to as well!), ladies who brush their teeth in the bathroom. A public bathroom. Yes, that's right - they are spitting and gurgling and making the place smell like cheap mint. Gah, just thinking about this one makes me want to puke. I really hate anything to do with the mouth as it is a disgusting place and thinking about it spitting into a sink I will use in the future is just too nasty. Brush your teeth at home, please!

So, if you associate yourself with a lady or you are a lady yourself please inform her about proper bathroom etiquette or use proper bathroom etiquette yourself. It really, really, isn't that hard. Remember ladies, men, and whomever else you identify yourself as - I love you, so keep on reading my complaints and feel free to post your own!

Love,

glimmer